July 18, 2007

Willow's World!

I have now started up a Willow's World blog just click the link at the side....

July 17, 2007

The Birth Journey....all the gory details...

I want to try to get some of this down before it begins to fade from my memory. Although I know it is one experience I will never forget, it is nice to get the details down because they seem distorted and foggy so this way I can kind of sort them all out. I am not sure that labour can be an entirely lucid or conscious experience, with accurate perceptions...so it has been really amazing to talk to Adam about it, who participated in and observed the entire journey, and my midwife, June who came by today and my Doula, Alison who also popped in to check up on us today. With them I have been able to piece together the 21 hour journey to bring Willow into the world.
The onset of my contractions was brought on by a very slow, hot, determined walk down Commercial Drive and some very perfectly delicious Gelato, (cherry chocolate almond and strawberry/cherry, in case you are curious). By the time we got home we were both pretty convinced that the 'cramps' I was feeling off and on all day had progressed into contractions. Adam called into work and we began nesting about our place, eating dinner and doing the final last minute preparations. Everything moved along well, the Tenacious D movie we were watching was entertaining, between contractions, until about half way through at 10 pm, I had to turn it off so I could just concentrate on what I was feeling. I called Alison, our Doula and our midwives, just to let them know where we were at. They recommended trying to get some sleep. We gave it a shot but it really wasn't an option for me. Unfortuantely it was for Adam, or at least it could have been - he was really pooped whereas I was already starting to enter the unknown universe of 'Labouring Women Energy'. Who knows where that comes from...if it was known, it would already have been bottled and sold for profit by now.
The hours started to pass really quickly for me. I was really surprised each time I asked Adam what time it was. He was very diligent with timing the contractions and writing it down just so we could be sure that the contractions were moving along and becoming more frequent. By 2 am I figured that we should be calling Alison. Our midwife. June showed up shortly after by about 3 am. At this point I remember the setting very well. We were in our small living room, I had a cozy zone of layers of blankets on the floor and a stack of pillows piled up against the couch which I would kneel into on all fours for each contraction. The lights were dim, Adam had music playing. June was instructing Adam and Alison to make sure that I eat little snacks to keep up my energy, which I was not interested in at all. At one point Adam made me some edamame, at my request, and I ate a few of them and drank soy milk. We continued on this for about 3 more hours. I tried a bath, but got out shortly after, preferring instead my soft space of solid ground. June checked my dilation progress and it was trucking along...I was about 4 cm. I remember a strange point in the passage of time when I heard the cawing crows of East Van in the tree outside and saw the slight morning light creeping into the covered window. I was definitley feeling surreal and in a very 'unknown' space inside myself. Looking back now, I cannot remember the level of pain that I was feeling, although at the time it felt like a large amount...I can see now that it was nothing compared to what was to come.....

Things took a turn for the unexpected at around 6 am. June checked my dilation which was at 5 cm - great. But Moonbeam's heartrate was over 200 bmp. This was the second time she had checked it in 20 minutes and it still hadn't gone down. June told us that we would have to go to the hospital where the monitoring equipment was more sensitive so they could keep a closer eye on it. I think it was at this point that I realized that my brain/mind/will had shifted aside and I was existing just in each moment with my body and physical feelings. Adam scurried around and gathered up everything that we might need for the next couple days. It was such a good thing that we had already organized our stuff for the hospital the night before...just in case, because now it was happening. Alison drove us and got us there so quickly. Traffic at 6 am on a Sunday is basically what you want in a scenario like this. I was having my regular contractions and barely noticed the ride as I gripped onto Adam in the back seat. Our arrival at the hopital was disappointing to say the least. Although we were really lucky to get a private birthing room, it was very hospital-ish: sterile, cold space with no homey touches whatsoever. But it did have a birthing pool, which was a complete God send at this point. Ironically, when we arrived in our room, June checked Mooney's heartbeat again and it had settled down to 160-180 bpm, where it should be. She was pretty dumbfounded and told Alison that this was only the second time in her 12 years as a midwife that she had even transported a home birth to the hospital for this reason, so she obviously did not do so lightly. She told us that we could go back home if we wanted to, but when I asked what would happen if her heartrate went up again, she responded that we would just have to come right back. Again, my physical body and not my will directed me as we all seemed to mutually resolve to being in this unplanned environment. June suggested that I try out the tub. This turned out to be an excellent plan. The lights were turned down low and I laboured in the small room with Adam and Alison for probably four hours or so. I was making good progress, the warm water was a soothing and safe environment for me. I toned through the contractions and afterwards I heard how everyone was marvelling about how 'in control' I seemed. All that I can really remember was being carried away by each contraction, not fighting it, but also not thinking very much whatsoever. Gripping onto Alison's hand and her giving me sips of honey water and gripping onto Adam's hand and him giving me lower back and hip pressure through each contraction, we seemed to fall into a rhythm that made it all bearable for me. There were a few moments when I told them that I was really scared that I wouldn't be able to do it. I remember thinking that just may not have it in me to actually push this baby out of me. I realize now that this was very close to transition and it was perfectly natural for me to be feeling that way. My body had not yet launched into the kind of monster contractions that would take to enable me to push Mooney out. I went from 5 cm - 9 cm. I think at this point things may have started to stall a little bit. I don't really recall this but as I look back now, I can see June and Alison were trying to get me to eat a little something, encouraging me to pee in the tub to make more space on my insides, etc. At some point June asked me if she could manually break my membranes as this sometimes helps things move along which I of course, agreed to. As she did this I was at about 9 cm around half of my cervix while the other half was sitting at about 9.5 cm. I guess it is what's called an anterior lip...I was close but not close enough to begin the next stage...We also discovered that there was meconium in the waters. So, in a way, it was a good thing that we were already at the hospital because if this happens during a home brith they will to transport the hospital. The reason is so that specialists are on hand in case the baby needs special suction to remove the stuff if it got into their lungs. Things start to get pretty foggy at this point....
At June's suggestion I got out of the water. There was talk at this point of getting a second opinion from the Obstetrician at the hospital and talk of an injection of Oxytocin to get the final dilation of the anterior lip to take place. Along with talk of the oxcytocin was also talk of an epidural. I laboured for a moment on the floor, with Adam and then got up onto the awkward hospital bed. I tried a few different positions but just couldn't get into a groove like I had experienced in the water. I was cold, I had the shakes, I was exhausted, my will was getting very shakey...could I do this? The Obstetrician examined me and explained to me her perspective that because of Moonbeams' position, a vaginal birth may be very unlikely and I should be thinking about the posibility of a c-section. In a matter of what felt like moments my great progress and 'smooth' birthing journey was turning into a tragic story...nothing at all what I wanted. At the time I was in a state of release and not resistence...I was accepting of what everyone was saying to me...I need the epidural to counter the pain of the oxytocin, check...okay, I will do what needs to be done. Looking back now, however, I can see that the hospital energy was just working it's 'intervention' angle into the experience. I am so grateful for the the fact that the threat of all of these interventions didn't manifest. Things were becoming more critical. My contractions were now not nearly as strong as they were while I was in the water, my dilation was actually reversing and now my whole cervix was at 9 cm, not just half of it. As I look back now, I think that I must have had some kind of spirit guides in the room with me. Everyone, even Adam, admitted to praying to God for things to not take this turn. For me, I felt a period of rest, exhaustion, doubt. The Anesthesiologist enters and is asking me all kinds of questions that I can barely answer. I get a very bad vibe from this person. I nickname him 'the dark horse' in my mind. Alison tells me afterward that he is asking me all of the questions to which I must give consent to during a contraction....he couldn't wait for one minute until after it was over, so I could actually hear what he was saying and possibly ask questions? Weird. Like I said, I did not like the energy of this person but I am still in a state of non resistance. I agree to get the epidural. June checks me before stepping out of the room for a moment..no change. I think it is now that the truely miraculous intervention occurs, the thing that I believe turned the entire potential for a tragic outcome on it's head, a very simple yet powerful substance was added to my fatigued body: a packet of honey. Adam emptied it into my mouth. I was uncomfortable on the bed, struggling to find any position that might work like the birth tub had seemed to. I turn onto my side and the next contraction I experience is massive. I described it to Adam afterwards as it's like the contractions in the water seem to run from my toes up to my heart, my throat. Well this one seemed to travel from my toes all the way up to my brain, my brain cells were contracting. I had 2 or 3 of these monster contractions, full body writhing, muscle spasm type of contractions. I did not know it at the time, but my body was kicking into full gear...transition was happening. June returned and checked me again...the miracle had manifested... with the biggest smile I had seen on anyone in the last 18 hours, she said you are 10 cm dialated, you are ready to push! Instantly the energy in the room switched from looming tragedy to excitment and encouragement. June suggestioned that I use the squat bar and that Adam get up on the bed behind me so he can give me back support. I like this suggestion. I can't really remember how long it took to get through this pushing phase...it seemed very short. Adam's physical support, June's huge smile and Alison's calm voice telling me 'You can do this, you can do this' were just the things I needed to make me work on each contraction. We both watched each push's progress in the mirror in front of us. It was truly the most amazing thing ever! Being as visual as I am, I concentrated so hard on what I was seeing in the mirror - it helped me to focus the energy and pain of the pushes. Between each one I laid back and rested on Adam. At one point I saw the Dark Horse re-enter and see me in the middle of a push. June waved him off 'We don't need you anymore...sorry for wasting you time..." haha - it was a triumph for us! Once Mooney's head began to make it's way down, June let me know.."you can see your baby's head"...it was at this point that I really, truly realized that all of this hard work was actually paying off...the end was near "I am doing this!" I blurted out. "Yes, your are!" laughed my team. As the head crowned I was fascinated, fixated on the image of it in the mirror. I slowly breathed out her head in several small pushes and the stretching wasn't really too bad. It stung and was painful, but not as bad as I had feared. Once out, June worked at manouvering her to turn her shoulders. This didn't really work and eventually Alison told me 'You are going to have to push harder than you have ever pushed in your life!" It was a very effective command and I did. I felt a searing, painful burning tear as her awkwardly positoned shoulders popped out and then immediate relief as the rest of her emerged. It was over! I had given birth to the most amazing 9 pound 9 ounce baby girl! They placed her on my chest and she immediately rooted around for my breast. She raised her little head (yes, really) and looked into my eyes. And that's where the Love affair all began.....

July 16, 2007

BABY TIME!

Adam and I are thrilled to announce the arrival of our beautiful little girl, WILLOW FRIDA GREAVES. The amazing natural birth took place on July 15th at 1:42 pm at the BC Women's Hospital. Much to our surprise she was a a whopping 9 pounds 9 ounces. We are so excited and can't wait to introduce her to everyone! More details to come..and pictures too!

July 13, 2007

4 Days Overdue....

C'mon Mooney...is today gonna be the day?

July 12, 2007

3 Days Overdue

Here we are...still wating. We had another uneventful midwife appointment yesterday. Everything is fine and all we can do is wait for Mooney to decide to make a move. Last night was hellishly hot...I couldn't sleep and ended up sitting in a cool bath, reading for hours. I think today will be another hot one. Adam is off work for two days so all in all we are completely ready...c'mon Moonbeam!

July 10, 2007

One Day Overdue....

Yup still waiting....in the 32 degree heat. Is my life so cliche or what? Today was really nice, tho, sitting in the shade of our pear tree with Mo' and Lola and Perdi...my last days of relaxing vegetation, but I would gladly trade it all in just to see Moonbeam's little face....

July 9, 2007

Our Due Date! & Our Anniversary

Okay Moonbeam...I am serving you your offical eviction notice, in the nicest way possible. Please have you bags packed and vacate your womb by midnight, Wednesday, July 11th. Thank you!

Haha, okay, I am feeling better than I did yesterday. I was very grateful to have Adam with me last night. And today we spent the whole day celebrating our 2nd Anniversary. We ate our favorite foods and strolled around lots to Trout Lake and Clark Park, remembering what a magical day our wedding day was. We marvelled at how much our lives have changed (for the better) in the past 3 years and how much happier we are now creating our lives and a family together. It was a really good day. I am thinking that Moonbeam is hearing the message and she is going to be coming out to check out all this love and this beautiful world soon...very soon.

July 8, 2007

My Pregnancy Rolls On....

Here we are at 40 weeks...well, officially tomorrow is 40 weeks, Moonbeam's due date....and it is our 2nd wedding anniversary. My mindset is very drifty and dreamy. I am not a good conversationalist and can't concentrate on much. My cold is now in my chest - totally sucks. My girlfriends are being awesome to me right now. (they are always awesome, but I guess right now I especially need them) We spent time in the park today, had a little picnic with Lola, Morag and their kids and babies. It was great because I needed to get out but couldn't have done it on my own. I am exhausted. I had a good long talk with Tal today all about her labour and birth experiences - really good to hear. Adam was back a work last night. I asked him to call in sick tonight. I need him and don't want to spend the night alone. All in all, I am definitely in a very unique head zone. I wonder how long I will drift along here....

July 4, 2007

Patience is a Virtue.....

Lots of friends and family have been getting in touch the past few days 'just to check in'. The update: yes I am still pregnant. I take each day as it comes and try not to be impatient, eventhough the weather here has turned pretty hot - today was 30 degrees. Out first hot day this year, I swear. I am happy that Adam has three days off - this would be a perfect time for Mooney to arrive! We have a midwife appointment tomorrow morning that I expect will be rather uneventful.
A couple days ago I had a great escape from the heat at Jen's swimming pool. It was sooooo good to be floating in water! I just loved it! I have been taking my days pretty slowly, just trying to be good to myself, eat my favorite foods, take naps whenever I feel like it. It has been really good, these very last summer days of justNikki. Soon I will be mamaNikki and my life will be forever changed.

July 1, 2007

I'm Ready to Pop!

Ok, I have officially reached the point of feeling like I wouldn't mind one bit if this were to end soon. Today is Canada Day and I can hear and see people outside, having fun, hanging around. I got a few invites to do things, but I just don't feel like lugging myself around out there in the world. Adam is sleeping and I feel a little bored stiff. But I don't feel like going out. I laid in the tub for a couple of hours...hung out on my porch but it was pretty hot. I am so tired. I keep talking to Mooney, trying to convince her that the world out here is really nice and she should come out and play. I think she wants to because she keeps kicking and stretching and generally 'knocking at the door'. Is this when pregnant women start dreaming about being a week early, rather than a week late? I know, I know, savour these moments, savour these moments, she will come when she is ready....my mantra for these days. Adam took this picture of me yesterday...I could only hold that pose for a few seconds but it was pretty effective in accentuating my fertility goddess bump. I look at it and I find it unbelieveable....

June 29, 2007

Love those ZZZZ"s

Ahhhh, finally had a really decent nights sleep. I am certainly in the uncomfortable stage here. At least it is not sweltering hot here in Vancouver, or hot at all for that matter, I don't think we have actually seen the sun in days. A couple nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night with excruciating lower back pain. I was actually wondering 'is this it?'. I couldn't stay in bed, got up, ate toast, had a bath, did stretches. By 7:00 am I was able to fall back to sleep. It gave me a little taste of what might be coming....
For now, I am slowing right down, not doing too much at all. Even leaving the apartament, I am really only going out if I am with someone else and only for mini errands. My body is just too achey for walking around lots. At the same time that all this is going on, Adam and I are getting mentally prepared for what is to come. We are both so excited, happy, curious...and we can both feel how truly special this time is for us. I can't help but imagine, in one month from now I will be able to sleep on my belly, walk up a hill and bend over to pick up a dime! That excites me! And of course, meeting out new little girl, seeing her face and learning all about her - we can't wait to meet the new 'centre of our universe'!

June 26, 2007

For the Curious....


The most recent photo shoot of my still ever expanding belly....Lots of changes going on, sore lower back, very tired. I am trying to take it easy and enjoy this time. I think Mooney has moved a little lower down but she is still squirming around like crazy. I am feeling alot more mentally prepared for birth but I still don't mind having a couple more weeks for the final preps. But if she were to arrive tonight, I think that would be great, too.

June 23, 2007

Precious Time...

Wow, so this really is the home stretch. The past couple of weeks, although very blissful in a sense, because my 'job' work has been finished, have been more tiring than ever! I have noticed tons of changes...a lot more movement from Moonbeam, and bigger movement. It's like she is squirming and twisting or stretching out full length. My belly isn't just rippling, it is sometimes like a big tidal wave, especially at night time when I lie down. I try to sooth her and get her to calm down by rubbing my belly, which helps sometimes. Everyone asks me if I have 'dropped' yet...and the midwife said that Mooney is not completely descended into my pelvis yet, but she is still sitting quite low, which I can feel quite distinctly especially when she stretches out. My appetite is on full force right now but last week when I weighed myself I had dropped three pounds, which the midwife said was quite normal. I am starting to let my mind drift to the fact that my pregnancy will soon be over...and that will be the beginning of parenthood. Will I miss the feeling of Moonbeam dancing around inside me? Or will I just be so blissed out with my new baby girl that it won't even cross my mind? I am still cultivating patience...I don't want to get ahead of myself at all...
...and it still feels like there is so much to do! Although I was very happy with the progress we made this week. Adam had three whole days off, which was so great! We spent lots of time together. I realized that I actually do sleep better when we are together..the bed may be a lot more cozy but my sleep is much less fitful...mostly. I just feel better when he is here with me. Although I have been trying to get organized, at one point I looked around our place and realized that if Moonbeam decided to arrive a little early, we would not even be the slightest bit ready for her! We have now rectified the situation. I am almost finished preparing all of the rooms that I think I will be spending the most time in during labour. I bossed Adam around with the rearranging of lots of stuff to make each space optimal. We even spent a bunch of time being uber social, which was great. Summer Solstice came and went in a blur, we were so carried away by an entire day of visiting with friends. Lola and Jacob in the late morning, Kirsten and Kyran in the afternoon and Marc, Jen, Sabina and Lauryn for a BBQ at our place and Dolce Amore on the Drive. It was sweet! And today we wandered to downtown and the Art Gallery..running into more pals there. So I would say that we achieved a perfect balance of getting lots done and just enjoying each other. Adam reminded me more than once that these are very special times, the last of our time together - just the two of us. Our last precious moments together before life changes in ways we haven't even dreamed of yet. Only 15 days to go...

June 17, 2007

Baby Shower BBQ....

Yesterday was our big baby shower bbq party night...it was pretty great. I still feel like I am recovering from it today....it sort of tells where I am at energy-wise at this point. It was a really fun time. I got to see some old friends who I haven't seen in a long while. It seemed like there were so many people to talk to a visit with, wanting to catch up with me...it was exhausting....I almost always had to grab a seat! It was actually quite funny to see the pictures of myself because I haven't seen any photos recently, even I couldn't believe how huge I am looking! Of course lots of people kept saying to me comments like; "Wow! Look at how HUGE you are!" which comes with the territory, I guess. My girlfriends did an amazing job of helping to get everyting together and to keep the night running smoothly. I actually made it all the way to 11:00 pm, which was quite surprising to me! The best part of it was to spend time with Adam...he got home from Ontario two days ago which was a big relief for both of us and I am not letting him leave my side again for the next three weeks! Moonbeam seems very happy that he is home also and has been dancing up a storm at the sound of 'Daddy's' voice. Oh ya, it's father's day to today...Adam's first. Only 22 days to go until Moonbeam's due date!

June 14, 2007

A shift......

It's feels like it has been so long since I actually wrote a post. So many things have shifted and changed in the past week alone. Time is speeding up, I suppose. I had a midwife appointment today. Alison came with me because Adam is in Ontario...It was good. I have, as I suspected, had another growth spurt and now the fundus height (the circumfrence of the curve of my belly) is measuring 37 centimeters and my weight is up to 170lbs....that 's a grand total of 35 lbs.....I am HUGE!. Moonbeam's movements are all larger than life now. What was once a small ripple in my belly has become a obviously seen large wave. And her kicks are feeling more powerful now, too. It is especially ummm, how shall we say, sensational, when she tries to stretch out full length from top to bottom - ouch!. Of course, though, I find her movement reassuring and feel slightly panicked if, in the mornings, I don't feel her moving around right away. I will give her a poke or drink some juice just to get a little kick or stretch and then I feel better....
I also finished work at the Roundhouse last Thursday - which is pretty amazing. It took a few days for it to really sink in that I don't need to be there everyday anymore. Today when I woke up and the big plan for the day was to go to Metrotown with two mum friends...I knew it had finally hit me...work is over. The ecstatic joy that I was expecting to feel has been dampered a bit by the fact that Adam had to fly off to Ontario on Friday morning to visit his Mom. Her health had taken a downturn so all of the sibs went out there to see her. Being on my own wasn't exactly a thrilling thought, but it seemed like better now than later, which would just be closer to Moonbeam's arrival date. All of my girlfriends have rallied so much around me - it has been just amazing. I spent Friday night out at Sandy's place in Deep Cove, which was so wonderful. It is in a gorgeous spot on the Indian Arm that you have to reach by boat. It is just so quiet and peaceful and relaxing out there. We hung out on the sunny porch...Sandy treated me like a queen, she made us a delicious salmon dinner and created the most cozy & peaceful space. I awoke to the sounds of birds and rain. We spent the next day, which was rainy, cozy and lazy - I watched cooking shows on the Food network and crocheted for hours...it was so, so great! It was really the most amazing way to ease into the fact that work is over and the next (and I guess last) crazy chapter of this pregnancy story is begining!
The rest of my week has been spent either cleaning and organizing or flat out resting or hanging with the girls, crafting and planning the shower/party which is happening this Saturday. It has been a great distraction from thinking about Adam's absence - which has been keeping me up at night. Tonight I feel better knowing that he will be back here in just two more sleeps...and that our BBQ is going to be an awesome fun time....and hopefully it won't be raining! It feels like it is about time that I celebrate this baby girl who has been making a cozy condo out of my belly!

June 8, 2007

Adam....

Adam flew off to Ontario today with his sibs to visit his Mom. of course, it is not really the best timing but there is nothing that we can do about that. I am pretty sure that it is quite unlikely that I would go into labour this early, but I guess it is in the back of both our minds. Adam described it as his biggest nightmare would be to miss the birth...and for me as well. So, I am just hunkering down and trying not to think about it and distract myself with the thousands of little tasks that I feel I need to tackle before Moonbeam arrives. Tonight I am heading out to Deep Cove to stay at Sandy's place for a night. I am really looking forward to it. Can it be real that this is my first day of of being on leave from work?
From Moonbeam Baby

June 2, 2007

She's still growing!

This has got to be a growth spurt! It simply amazes me to point where I am asking, How can this be? I catch my reflection in a window and I stare at my belly! How is it that I can balance and be upright with this beachball sized baby protrusion from my torso?
From Moonbeam Baby

May 26, 2007

Wondering and Dreaming...


Moonbeam...we are thinking about you all the time. What will you look like? What will your name be? When will you arrive? All we can do is cultivate patience...and enjoy the moments. We are so excited to meet you...

We Love you so much already!

May 22, 2007

Is this really possible?


It's a question that I asked myself after I saw this picture. When I see it from the observer's point of view, I suddenly understand why I feel so tired and why movement is so difficult. That is one big belly! Adam insisted on getting a photo tonight and I understand why. It seems like Mooney is going through a new growth spurt every week. A little scary knowing that I still have seven weeks to go. How big can I get?

May 15, 2007

Baby Shower....

Yesterday my friends and co-workers at the Roundhouse threw me the rockin-est baby shower. Complete with games, food, and so many presents - I was really overwhelmed. They gave us all kinds of stuff: sweet kids books, tons of neat little toys and plushies, all kinds of cute clothes and sleepers, cute little pink leather shoes, receiving blankets, washclothes, bibs, bibs, bottles, hats, socks, booties, diaper cream, money to go towards our diaper service and a Bumbo chair. I truly felt 'showered' with Love. It was sooo sweet and thoughtful of everyone and all of the gifts will come in so handy. I was exhausted after all that excitement and really really touched.

May 13, 2007

My First Mother's Day

Well, what was supposed to be a sunny day has turned out to be typical Vancouver grey....oh well. It is mother's day and that in itself it very special. I guess I am sort of in the club already. Adam brought home a pretty potted mum this morning for me. Lola and I went out for special Mother's Day coffee together - to celebrate ourselves! I am feeling pretty good...we hauled out the BBQ on Friday and I had my first home-grilled salmon of the season - wonderful! These are pictures of me taken Friday in my new Roundhouse T-shirt. As you can see, the melon-y belly is getting huge. It is almost relieving to know that I only have 57 days to go! I am not trying to do anything too super human today...it's a day to rest and relax...just what I feel like doing!

From Moonbeam Baby
From Moonbeam Baby

May 11, 2007

Sunny Days...

It is a beautiful sunny Friday and it looks as though it is going to be our first weekend of nice weather. Yay! This was a tough week, but I am almost through. I realize that I just need to cultivate patience and appreciation right now. We are standing on te threshold of such a beautiful, happy, exciting time, I don't want that to pass me by just because I am tired and grumpy! A little bit of sunshine and gratitude can go a long way. I did discover one thing that sort explains my feelings of being overwhelmed lately. It seems that Miss Moonbeam has gone through a pretty big growth spurt. I was at the midwife on Tuesday and she measured my fundus height, which is basically the length of the curve of my belly. Four weeks ago, I was at 27 inches at 27 weeks - a textbook 'perfect' measurment. Now I am at 33 inches at 31 weeks. That is a whopping 6 inches in 4 weeks! No wonder I have been feeling everything in an extreme way for the past few weeks. All that growth but I have only gained two pounds. That sort of explains alot - especially my crazy emotions and the reason why Mooney's movements are so much more prominent now. I can actually show my coworkers her movement through my clothes, they are so large. It explains the stretch marks, too. This next four weeks, the last month of work is going to be the most challenging. At least when it is sunny out, and its's Friday, I feel like I am up to the challenge...here I go, waddling along my way....
From Moonbeam Baby

May 8, 2007

31 weeks (and counting...)

What a week! Adam and I are still not over this cold/throat/cought thing. My energy has been pretty tapped all week. And now it seems that my mental energy is starting to fade out also. I just don't feel like myself...normal, I know. Moonbeam is just so big now. What was once a little flutter has turned into a constant rippley motion of pokes and pushes. I am even starting to get a few stretch marks, *gasp* like I thought I might be immune like the lucky few, but no. I have 62 days to go and today it feels like a long time still...but then I think about all the projects I want to get done and I know I need this time. At least I finished one of my monolithic blankets for baby.

May 1, 2007

30 Weeks

30 weeks and 10 to go. Seems like the finish line is very close but also very far. The belly just keeps getting bigger and bigger, of course! I am now thoroughly and offically sick of work but at this point I still have 26 days to go. My mom is right, 'tho, I do need to savour the moments and enjoy exactly where I am at. I am sure that once the Roundhouse isn't a part of my everyday life, I will miss it very much. I am actually at home today..Adam and I 3seem to have picked up some kind of throat infection..most likely from people at work. I am sleeping and garggling with salt so I am hoping to nip mine in the butt with a day of rest today. I had a 3 hour nap and that was exactly what I needed....

April 29, 2007

Perfect Sunday....

I can't even begin to tell you how big my smile was when I read all of the comments from so many super-girlfriends in the past couple of posts. Apparently I can assume that not one single male ever looks at this blog....or maybe they are just shy. Anyways it was great to hear from all of you! Today is a bit of a special post because it is April 29th and it is the last day of my 29th week. From here on in it is like a real week by week countdown until Moonbeam makes her grand arrival...give or take a week or two. I am feeling like I am getting more and more prepared all the time. I finished reading 'Magical
Beginnings Enchanted Lives' and am now embarking on my last pregnancy book: Birthing From Within. The timing was good to leave this one to the end as it does mainly deal with Birth, which is where my mind is at more and more. Kind of obvious, I guess.

Today was a particularily satisfying Sunday...it was completely sunny all day. I think it was the first truly uncloudy day we have had this spring. I spent the entire day outside and on the porch. It was soooo gooood. In fact, it was the perfect Sunday. I had laundry hanging on the line and a pot of curry cooking on the stove. I am having alot harder time moving around these days and I did tweak my knee a little bit, which tells me that I just need to learn to move differently. Bending over to pick stuff up is super challenging. I am learning to not push myself and just let things be sometimes. Adam earned a gold star for being super-husband today, in his quite cute zombie fashion he was schlephing laundry and doing a colossal amount of dishes...all in between his crazy all night shifts and his minimal sleep. He's my Love. After a hot bath and a nice belly oil massage I am now ready to settle into the very relaxing end bits of my perfect Sunday....

April 25, 2007

Stuff...

So that's it, eh? Only four people read this blog? I kind of doubt that...whatever, you anonymous readers...you gotta learn to share the the Love, c'mon, spread it around! And big wet kiss to those of you who did comment. I Love you too and you make me feel happy and lucky that I have friends and family to share all this amazing stuff with!
Well, I have been having a hayday with Moony this last week, she is one active little baby! Sometimes if I wake up in the morning and she's not dancing around, I actually get a little nervous, and I anxiously await the next kick! I feel pretty happy with where I am at right now. Two and half months to go, only five and half weeks of work left. I think I can do this! But there is still enough time left for me to finish my long list of half completed projects. I feel good! I guess we are pretty lucky that we are having a cool April also, beacause I haven't really had any of that hot and uncomfortable-ness yet, which might come along in June but shouldn't be too bad. With our luck here in Vancouver, it'll just rain all summer!

April 22, 2007

Let us know you are out there.....

It has recently come to our attention that many people read our blog...including some people who we never hear from! If you are one of those folks, please drop us a line...it would be great to know who is interested in us and this amazing journey. It's easy to feel like "is anybody out there?" at times...so let us know that you care!

April 21, 2007

Moonbeam in Motion


I finally figured out how to post a video! Thanks Marussia. Anyways, here a little clip from our 4D ultrasound of Moonbeam. This was taken at 25 weeks, 4 weeks ago. It was a really cool experience to see her in real time. It made it all that much more real to us. My brother is a little freaked out by these things but I think it is amazing!

April 19, 2007

My Birthday...















....I guess my own birthday is taking on a new kind of meaning as I draw closer to Moonbeam's birthday...the miracle of it all. I had a super nice day, went into work late, as has been my pattern all week...arrived to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my co-workers. I had so many phone calls, emails & well wishers, it made me feel really special. Sandy took me out for a great Japanese lunch and brought a decadent cake to our Production meeting. I basically slacked the afternoon away and left early - and got a ride home. It was great! At home, Adam gave me the coolest present which was a new digital camera that makes mini movies. It is something I have wanted for a while! we had some time in the sun on the porch, I did some planting while he made little movies of me. Now all I need to do is figure out how to post them on my Blog! We went out for a fabulous dinner at one of my favorite restraunts, Clove. It really was a special birthday - my last birthday as a 'single' person.

April 18, 2007

The Super Crafties....Belly Admiration


Ahhh, isn’t it great to be the centre of attention. I am, of course, still not completely comfortable with this big body of mine but I think that is the name of this game, in a way. I may not be comfortable, however, but I am completely fascinated, which is great because everyone else seems to be also. This will be a great photo to show Moonbeam later on in life – see, you were always surrounded by amazing women! Adam did a mini photo shoot of us at our craft night - I guess that makes him an honorary Super Crafties member! And the girls had a sweet spread of birthday goodness all set up for me! Beautiful flowers (I Love orange & yellow tulips), TWO birthday cakes and tons of great baby duds for Moonbeam! It was great! Gotta Love da' girls. Needless to say, I didn't get much crafting done...I gotta hunker down and finish that blanket! Thanks girls, for being the awesome women that you are! You made my birthday get off to a super special start!

April 15, 2007

More Yoga...

Today Adam and I attended a couples childbirth preparation yoga workshop. It was really good. The focus was to learn how to create optimum conditions for a natural birth. We learned about the two most important aids for relaxation during labour which are vocal toning and whole body breathing. It was a great chance for Adam and I to connect and learn some postures and massage techniques. I really liked spending the day together learning some new stuff. I think that BC must have one of the most progressive birth cultures in Canada.
We also got a bunch of hand me downs from one of Adam's co-workers. We got a bag full of sleepers and onsies, a sling, a nice bassinet and some toys. He said that they have more stuff, too and we are supposed to visit him again next week for more free stuff! I love free stuff! It's pretty cool the way baby stuff just gets passed along...I am sure that we will keep the chain going....

April 13, 2007

27 Weeks...feeling the BIG-ness!

Ahh, it's so great to have a photographer husband who can take flattering shots of me! Packing quite the little beach ball these days....I am still having fun with it except for the sharp pains that I feel in my stomach sometimes, which is now located underneath my left breast! It still doesn't seem to come across in these two dimensional images - the volume of this vessel is truly amazing! To think that still have another three months to go - it's pretty staggering. I am feeling good and happy the weekend is almost here!

April 12, 2007

Third Trimester...

Time is so strange. The weeks fly by sooo quickly. Here we are at 27 & 1/2 weeks. I only have 40 days of work left before I begin my maternity leave, which is like a dream. I am getting bigger every week. I had another midwife appointment where I finally got to meet the last midwife on my team. She seemed really great and I felt comfortable and confident with her, which is awesome. I weighed myself and I am up another 5 pounds from the last visit which puts me up to 161 pounds! No wonder I feel huge – I am! That puts me up to a grand total of 26 pounds so far, and I still have three months to go- kind of scary. It is a really good thing that I walk everywhere because it is my main source of exercise these days. The funny thing is that I walk at such a slow pace now – and I still get winded! I will be so happy when I don’t have to make the journey downtown everyday for work. I am really happy that my whole pregnancy is turning out to be trouble free. Aside from some of the discomforts, I actually like being pregnant. The feeling of Moonbeam moving around inside me is like nothing else. I wonder sometimes if I am taking enough time to stop and enjoy all these new sensations and feelings. I like it when I get special attention for being pregnant, like when someone gives me their seat on the Skytrain. I am always so grateful. People don’t realize how hard it can be to balance with a big beach ball protruding from your torso. I also like taking it easy on myself for a change. I have lowered my expectations of what I can accomplish in any given period. Sewing the buttons on a sweater or crocheting a few rows on a blanket now constitutes the achievement of a big goal for an evening. The Now is a really special time.

April 7, 2007

a Breather.....

Ahhh, it has been such a nice past couple of days. Yesterday was like a Spring time dream - we actually reached warm temperatures of 17 degrees. I puttered on the porch and later in the afternoon the sun actually broke through the clouds and real sunbeams made their way down to us - and it happend on a holiday when I wasn't at work! Truly a mini miracle in this place! Today the clouds are back but at least no rain - yet. It is sooo good to have four days off for the Easter weekend, it is givng me a slight taste of what it is going to be like once work is over in June. I can't wait! My body can't wait, either. After yesterday, I was so tired and sore from just putzing around, going for a nice walk to Troute Lake, re-planting my tomatoes....all pretty low key stuff. But this is to be expected and I am just going to be slowing down even further as the next three months roll by. My plans for this weekend are simple: projects projects projects! I have finished up two of my little sweaters and after tonight another will be done (I will post them on my craft blog shortly...) I have a day of sewing at Heather's planned for Monday to hopefully complete the two blankets I have been working on....work on the blanket I have been crocheting...catch up on some organizing, phone calls etc and oh yes the most exciting thing that I have planned is to get my taxes done. Do I know how to have fun or what? All of that stuff is intermixed with coffee's with the girls and stitching and bitching so it really is fun! I feel like I am just having a little breather in my life and it is soooooo needed!

March 31, 2007

100 days to go....

Now that I know we are having a girl, all of the prepearation stuff is kind of more fun. I can now finish up knitting my last 'neutral' sweater. The next one I make is definitely going to have at least some pink in it! I spent a day with the girls, at the fabric store and yarn shop. I bought some more flannelette for blankets in pretty colors. I don't want everything to be too cute and girly, but a little is okay. I also don't want to invent too many more projects for myself as I want to make sure that I can finish all the ones I have started. All this comes with the realization that I only have 100 days to go with my pregnancy and time seems to be speeding up! It has been really good to have a day off to allow the news of our baby girl to sink in. I finally had a good night sleep and some frivilous fun with the girls which gives me a chance to relax, enjoy and catch up with all the hugeness that has happened this week.

March 28, 2007

Our Beautiful Daughter....

Our ultrasound experience was really amazing. In fact, it has taken me a couple of days to have it all actually sink in. Seeing our baby on a huge flat screen, moving around in real time was breathtaking. As soon as the technician told us that she was a she, I felt overwhelmed with emotions. We were looking into the face of our daughter! Of course I cried, tears of sheer joy. That feeling soon gave way to fascination in watching her movements and trying identify with how they feel to me from the inside. We found out that her position is head down and facing my back. That means that the movements that I feel at the top of my belly are kicksShe is in the 58 percentile in size excpet for her legs, which are in the 78th. At this point she weighs one and a quarter pounds. I couldn't believe how clearly we could see her face, which I thought was sooo pretty...chubby cheeks, cute little nose. The whole experience just made her so much more real to me. Adam and I were mesmerized and moved by seeing our little baby girl. it will be very cool to show her these pictures when she is older.

March 27, 2007

25 Weeks...

I know this doesn't give you a good look at the belly, but it does give a general view of my size, which is Large these days. I had a rough sleep last night. I just bought a Britta water jug and I was laying in bed being paranoid about all of the lead and heavy metals I have probably already ingested in the first 6 months of being pregnant. Isn't that weird? I was getting scared that Moonbeam was going to be brain damaged from the old pipes in this house. Duh. Now I am going to be on a big antioxidant kick for the next months to come. I guess it is totally normal to get a little overly worried sometime about baby.
It is going to be sooo cool tomorrow to see the ultrasound pictures. I can hardly wait. Last night Adam had a good round of feeling the Moonbeam boogey down as we were going to sleep. The movements are so big now that they can keep we awake at night. I wonder what it will be like to get a kick to the ribs that actually knocks the wind out of me. I've heard about that. Oh the joys....

March 26, 2007

We've Finally Beat the Rain!!!

Ok, I don't want to jinx myself or anything but this is the second day in a row that the sun is shining and blue sky can be seen. Could it be that our record setting, rainy March is finally over? I hope so. 30 days with one day of sunshine is just plain wrong! Naturally, it's Monday and I have to spend this lovely day indoors! I think Moonbeam is happy about it, too. There is just so much spring dancing going on in there! This will be an exciting week - we get to have our ultrasound and get a real glimpse at Mooney! I can hardly wait!

March 20, 2007

Happy Spring!!!

Yay! Today is the official start of Spring! I couldn't be happier. There were times this winter when I wondered if I was really going to make it through. Now I know that the rest of this pregnancy is going to fly by . I keep telling Moonbeam, "I can't wait to meet you..." which is true but I am still going to savor this last bit of me and Adam time before it is gone forever.
Yoga today was awesome. I have been feeling painful stiffness in my butt and lower back but today it is feeling alot better. I feel strong and totally capable of carrying Moonbeam around for the next four months....and then for years to come.

March 19, 2007

Moonbeam kicks....

Ok, I have already figured out that Moonbeam is going to be one funky dancer. Now I can actually see it. If I am laying quietly in the tub I can see the little guy kicking and pushing against my belly. The water ripples and my skin pokes out. Pretty cool! But Moonbeam, don't try to escape just yet, you've still got a ways to go!

March 15, 2007

Midwife....

We had another midwife appointment yesterday. It was too bad, but due to another scheduling mishap, we saw the same midwife we have seen for the last 3 times. We were supposed to meet the last of the three on our 'team' named Grace. It's not too bad, though, because after 28 weeks we will be seeing them every three weeks (instead of every fives weeks) so we will get the chance to see all three of them a few times. After 36 weeks we will see them every week. It was a bit of an uneventful appointment, which is good I guess. It's great that we are having a complication-free pregnancy. We heard Mooney's heartbeat again, loud and clear with a few kicks in between. She measured me and I am at 25 cm from pelvic bone to fundus (top of my uterus) which is great, normal. The most exciting thing was weighing myself - I am up to 156 lbs, 21 lbs above my start weight. Pretty crazy but the midwife said that it is really normal and I should still be prepared to gain another 15 lbs! Seems like so much! The best news that I got was that I don't have to restrict my sleep to only my left side, which is what I read somewhere. I have been pretty uncomfortable sleeping because of trying to stay on that one side and not sleep on my back, which is completely unnecessary. As a result, I had such a good sleep last night and my hips weren't sore when I woke up. Basically it is just smooth sailing for now. I am feeling a bit more tired lately and the pregnancy 'waddle' is my new walk. My friends who have kids and babies assure me that once Moonbeam arrives, the fun part begins and not to worry, pregnancy isn't the fun part. Basically they are telling me that the discomfort of being huge and breathless from walking 2 blocks will pass and the good stuff really does lie ahead. That's encouraging! I keep telling Moonbeam, "I can't wait to meet you..."

March 8, 2007

22 weeks...

From Moonbeam Baby
Adam did a nifty photo shoot of Me and Moonbeam last night. I like some of the pics very much. I guess this one is a little hard to see how big the belly really is, but trust me - it's BIG. I feel beautiful when I look at these, which is really nice. After the quick photo shoot I headed out to craft night. Sholeh brought little Zephyr out - he is one month old. He is such a cute little guy! He fell asleep on me for a while and it was pretty blissful. Tonight Allison, our Doula is coming over for a little visit/chat/planning session. It is good because although we have met a couple of times already, we haven't really had an 'official' meeting yet. I kind of feel like my pregnancy is really speeding by and I know that before I know it Moonbeam will be here. I want to be as prepared as possible. I think that visualization is going to be a key element for me. Like thinking about all the other women on earth who may be in labour at the exact same moment that I am. I like that thought of being connected to other women everywhere. Or thinking about all the people out there rooting for me..all my family and friends. Today is International Women's Day so it is a good time to feel powerful (and beautiful) in womanhood!

March 5, 2007

Moonbeam is a Dancer....

Wow, the amount of movement that I can feel now seems to have accelerated in the past week or so. What once started as subtle flutterings, so soft that I could barely believe what I was feeling has now turned into some kind of boogey down dance fest in my belly. Adam has even had his first few feelings of Moonbeam's little kicks and thuds which is very cool. Although I get little thuds and prods throughout the day, the mornings and evenings seem to be the time that Mooney is really active. This morning I felt a good kick - must be those long legs that we saw in the ultrasound. The reality of our baby is becoming more and more exciting and tangible all the time.

March 1, 2007

Good Spirits...

I haven't really thought about posting lately. Work is busy. I am tired. I can feel more body changes this week. More weight, more heaviness, bigger belly. I can feel Moonbeam moving around all the time now - throughout the day, sitting at my desk, on the skytrain, wherever. It is cool. I think there is a bit of a growth spurt going on because I do feel hungrier and more sleepy than I have in a few weeks. All in all my spirits are good....

February 24, 2007

Rainy Daze....

Well, it seems as though this rain will never stop. I don't mind so much - at least it seems like have got quite a bit of my energy back. I Love my Saturdays - I always try to spend the whole day away from home so I don't keep Adam awake with my noise as he is trying to sleep. This schedule of his does get a little tricky. But I had my standing date with Lola and Perdida which was great. We couldn't hang around outside too much - it really is cold and wet out. So after some strolling and coffee talking we headed over to their place to cozy up with tea and crochet and Perdida. Not much point to this blog entry....except to say that I am feeling good.

February 19, 2007

20 Weeks - The Halfway Point

Well, we are officially halfway there - only 140 days left to go. It seems like such a long journey up to this point, yet it also seems like time is flying by. I think I have definitely 'popped' so they say. I can feel Moonbeam throughout the day now, dancing around while I go about my business, woking at my desk. I like that (s)he will never let me forget that (s)he is almost here. I also feel like my belly is now becoming an entire torso. My 'upper belly' is pushing out. Is this the feeling of my internal organs being moved around? I have had weird discomfort for the past few days and nights like everything is feeling a little squashed. It's not too bad yet - nothing a hot bath can't cure. But it does make me a little nervous to think that this is only halfway because I know there is still a long way to go. I am going to be huge, bursting at the seams by the time I hit 40 weeks! I don't have a very long body, so it's not going to have much place to move except outwards. Eeek!

Adam and I have signed up for a couples childbirth preparation yoga workshop. We want to try to get as prepared as possible for what lies ahead....

February 15, 2007

Ultrasound....

Todays ultrasound was a truly amazing experience. Both Adam and I felt overwhelmed with the reality of little Moonbeam when we saw 'her' on the screen. I am saying 'her' but we still do not know the gender as it is the hospital's policy to not do gender I.D. Eventhough we asked in 5 different ways... too bad. We couldn't get a glimpse of any little 'bits'. But nothing was going to dampen the experience. It was just so amazing to see 'her'. I think Moonbeam looks alot like me (at least in the head shape) and I think she is a she...but that's just a vibe. Anyways, Moonbeam looks just great. No obvious concerns wahtsoever. Adam thinks she looks beautiful and perfect. Moonbeam is not likely to be a huge baby, much to my delight. Everything measured out average except the femur length which was quite long - in the 76th percentile. Looks like Moonbeam will will be leggy just like Mom and Dad. She decided not to do any tap dancing despite the coffee that I drank (apparently that is just an old wives tale...that coffee makes the baby hyper) The only oddity was that my placenta has an extra lobe, which was noted on my file. I guess the midwives will need to be sure that the whole thing is delivered after Moonbeam's arrival to prevent any possible complications. I love this first picture. I swear little Moonbeam is smiling at as, laughing as if to say " Hi". This grainy little picture is like a window to my insides. Looking at it is like looking into the face of miracle. It's so cool! I just wanted to do a quick post tonight. It is pretty late as I just got home from Yoga class.....more to come....

February 14, 2007

Happy Valentines Day XOX


I wanted to post another picture of my belly because that last one just didn't look big enough! It's true, the angle or whatever just didn't show how round this belly really is, so here is another one that looks very melon-y indeed! We went to our midwife today and it was a pretty good appointment, although a little uneventful. I weighed myself and it looks as though Adam wins the pool as he guessed it right on the nose - 13lbs since the beginning. I can't really believe that this feeling is only 13 lbs. I can't even imagine what 30 lbs would feel like! I can feel my heart pumping and I get breathless when I walk up the stairs at the Skytrain. It's pretty weird. So, I guess now I am just so excited about the ultrasound tomorrow. I hope we get good glimpse at Moonbeam tap dancing for us!

February 11, 2007

Feels kinda like Spring....

It is grey and rainy, but the temperature has warmed up to above 10 degrees. Yesterday was bright and sunny and really warm. It's feeling alot like spring. I spent time putzing on my little porch. I planted some daffodils to go along wih my primulas - looks so cheery! I also started some nasturtium and colombine seeds indoors which is pretty exciting. I also planted some sweet peas out on the porch, which if I am lucky, will trail down. I have definitely hit the next energy phase of pregnancy, which I thought might never come. This the phase where I manically do everything that needs to be done before baby arrives. It's great! I cleaned out apartment from top to bottom on Friday night. Oh, did I mention the insomnia? Our bathroom has never been cleaner! I threw out lots of stuff - this is just the beginning of Spring Cleaning! I even tackled the front stairs leading up to our apartment, which have been gross and filthy all winter. Everything feels soooooo much better. Today I cleaned the old leaves out of the front flower beds and underneath were lots daffodil, crockus and hyacinth sprouts! I feels great to bring in the new energy. Now that I feel more alive and energetic, I am not going to wish away any of my time. It's February and I Love it!

I can now say, without a doubt that I am feeling little Moonbeam moving around. Not all the time but now when it does happen, I know what it is. Yesterday morning when I woke up, I felt little Mooney tap dancing, and I knew it. It was so cool.

Adam took this awesome pic to day of me at 19 weeks. Almost half way there!

February 6, 2007

Midwives....

Well, I got a call from the midwives today cancelling our appointment for tomorrow. It is kind of a bummer because I was really looking forward to meeting the last midwife on our 'team' but will now have to re-schedule with Elizabeth, who we have already met. I was mostly looking forward to weighing myself. I just have no concept of how much weight I have gained. Is this 10 pounds, 15...? It's definitely the biggest I've ever been and it feels pretty heavy sometimes (especially in the breasts). I can't believe that I may gain another 20-25 pounds! Seems pretty unbelieveable. Oh, well, I will just have to wait until next week to find out the numbers. Also, I found out the results of our Triple Screen, which is the inital test that they do for genetic abnormalities like Down's Syndrome, and we recieved 'favourable' results. I guess this means that statistically everything looks good and there is no need for further tests. We know that nothing is 100% but this is good news. Adam was especially happy to know that our baby is 'favourable'.
The last bit of news that we found out is that it is not likely that we will be able to find out Moonbeam's gender from the ultrasound next week. We will be doing a clinical diagnostic ultrasound at Women's Hospital because our midwife wants to have an extra cardiac diagnostic done which needs to be done at the hospital. They will not do gender I.D until 24 weeks. It's pretty disappointing because we were really looking forward to the fact that we might know really soon. Unless we can get a pretty clear, obvious picture at the ultrasound (which isn't very likely) our only other option may be to pay for a privately done ultrasound, which can cost $100-200. Seems pretty unfair. I will ask more questions next week when we are at our midwife appointment. There has got to be a way around this...

February 3, 2007

Baby Names...

Spending the last part of our evening together before Adam heads off to work, looking at baby names. How come I think all of the Japanese names sound so cool? I also like names starting with "n" - go figure. Had a very nappy day today after my overnight babysitting last night. It's just not ever the same same when you're not sleeping in your own bed, is it? It was a perfectly grey, rainy day, too. We kept it cozy, I made clam chowder....mellow day...Still hovering in that space, wondering if I am occasionally feeling Moonbeam move around...or is that just a stomach gurgle?

January 30, 2007

Ahhh, Yoga...

I Love Tuesdays, because it is the night of my pre natal yoga class. It is so great to be in a yoga class with other pregnant women, all at different stages. There is absolutely no ego in this class, if a pose is too tiring, you just stop. If you feel nauseous, you just put your head down, take a deep breath, whatever. It makes me feel so great and positive. I think that at the end of February, when the next session starts up, I will sign up for Tuesdays and Thursdays. It is just so great for strengthening, breathing, relaxing...everything! I am in such a good mood! I came home to find out apartment all cleaned up, dishes done and dinner on the table! Adam is such a keepr! Am I the luckiest girl alive or what??? I have been in such a happy mood today and yesterday. It has been so amazing to hear from all of my far away girlfriends. I am so happy to have you in my life! Eventhough there is lots of space and time sometimes, I always know that you are there and that is sooo awesome! I also feel like my little Moonbeam is in the midst of a growth spurt because at the end of the day, I feel like my belly is a little bit bigger, fuller and I have the same feeling in the morning when I first wake up. My lower belly feels full, swollen. Sometimes, I am feel something and I wonder, is that my baby? But it is so light and fleeting, it is hard to tell for sure. Soon, I know the feeling will be unmistakeable. Every so often I still have this weird, realization that yes, I am still pregnant...

January 27, 2007

A Peek at the Growing Belly

Here is a quick shot of me at almost 17 weeks. It has finally been sunny for the past couple of days. We are in the midst of a relaxing Saturday today. I started the day with Lola and Dressew - got some fabric to make a sling. Then we parted ways and I did a little bit of shopping. I cleared out my closet the other day and realized that I needed a couple more shirts that fit over the ole' bust. This sun dress you can see me in here is one of the very few things that I dug up that still fits me. It goes great over jeans. I wonder if my old clothes will ever fit me again, they look so small.

January 22, 2007

Double D's...

Well, I had a good, laid back weekend. I didn't accomplish too much, but I am pretty used to that feeling these days. I did go bra shopping and was pretty flabberghasted to discover that I went from a 36 C to a 38 DD. Of course Adam thinks it is just great - but he's not the one carrying these girls around! Ahhh, the bodily changes...it's pretty exciting, actually. Adam and I also went to Lola's to meet her Doula, Allison and be there while they went though a little run through of setting up for her home water birth. Having a home birth is the only way to really guarantees that you can have a water birth here. If it happens to be a busy day at the hospital, there is a chance that we could get a room without a pool. I am really set on at least labouring in water but would ideally like the option to birth there as well. It was good to meet Allison again. She seems like a really good communicator and a caring person, which is important. We think she might be a good fit for us. Obviously we will see how Lola's birth goes and what her feedback is. It was an informative evening for us both, so that was cool. The idea of a home birth is very appealing to the both of us. We would be attended by two midwives and our Doula, and if there was any need for it, we are only minutes away from the hospital. We are going to talk to our midwives about it some more...

January 19, 2007

Friday Feeling.....

Such a good feeling to make it to the end of the week! Now don't get me wrong, I am trying to be very concious and not wish away any time, because I know that this is a precious time. It's just that at work I feel so disconnected from myself. It's like the only connection to my own body that I can conjure up is the healthy snacking that I do all day long. I so look forward to the weekends and just taking my time as I please. If I want to lay in the tub for an hour, then I do. Of course, our apartment is a wreck these days! I can be a bit of a tidy freak but currently I am nothing of the sort. I love to spend time stretched out, reading. The Magical Beginnings book I am into right now is really good. It has excercises in connectivity in it. Through this one breathing excercise, I would visualize, as I was breathing in, that I was surrounding my baby with love and safety and pinkness, and as I was exhaling, I would envision my baby growing bigger and stronger. I did this for several breaths. I was awash with a calm feeling and could feel very strongly the presence of my baby. I haven't felt any kicks or anything yet, which sometimes makes me almost doubt that this is all happening. I don't like that feeling. I feel much better when I feel the presence of him/her, in my body and my mind.

January 17, 2007

Moving right along.....

I know, there are huge spaces in between my entries. I have to figure out a way to merge my online journal that I have been keeping with my blog. Hmmmm. But I do want to get this blog going as it is my link to the outside world in a way. I am now officially in my second trimester. I am 107 days or 15 weeks pregnant and I have 173 days or 25 weeks left to go. Of course the time is passing really quickly. At other times, though, I do feel like it is standing still. I am afraid that I have been wishing January and Febraury away for the the last while. The weather has been so crap, perfect for hibernating, really. And I am still dragging my tired pregnant butt to work everyday. I know I am supposed to try to savour the moments and I promise that from here on in, I really will try. I truly savour all of the moments on my days, off, that's for sure! My morning sickness symptoms, the nausea and all, have faded off quite a bit in the last couple of weeks. I no longer have to eat and sip ginger tea as soon as I wake up in the mornings. I am still tired, though. I finally had an amazing sleep last night and when I woke up, Adam was not in the bed with me. Strange, because he is not supposed to me working. I came out into the living room and he is sleeping on the floor. He has been having a hard time with sleep because of his shift work. His tossing and turning has been keeping me up at night. He knew how tired I have been so he gave me the whole bed and slept on the floor! What a sweetheart! We definitely need to get a king sized bed soon! Adam is a big guy and our family is about to get alot bigger!

December 18, 2006

When we first knew....

It wasn't a big surprise to us or any of our family when we announced our pregnancy. But, it was a pretty big surprise when I told Adam that he was on his way to becoming a Dad. I was pretty suspicious the week and half following October 14th (see post #1)...I was feeling many of the symptoms right away, mostly the sore breasts. They were my first indicator that things in my body were changing. My girlfriends at my craft night kept teasing and insisting: "You're pregnant! You're pregnant!" Finally, after eleven days, the Friday morning before the last Saturday of the month, I decided that I had to know for sure. It was Halloween and I knew that the weekend was going to be filled with much drinking and debauchery. I had to know if I was to partake in the creepy festivities or would I sitting them out. I did a home test in the morning. At first glance, it looked like a negative. I set it aside and got in the tub. A few minutes later I thought," I should take another look at that.." and what did I see? The minus had changed to a plus. I felt pure excitement and I think I even laughed and say "WOW!" right out loud. I hummed and hawed, should I wake up Adam and tell him? He had worked really late the night before and normally wouldn't wake up for several more hours but I decided that it had to be done. Now, Adam is not what you would call a 'morning person'. I carefully peeled the pillow off of his head and gently told him to roll over. "Open your eyes..." grunt, groan, grunt, groan...."Sweetie, open your eyes and look at me..." eyes open slightly..."Babe, we're pregnant..." Eyes shoot WIDE open "REALLY?"..."Yup"..."Really-Really-Really?"..."Yup"...and that was it, laughter, hugs, kisses, amazement. Adam was of course really tired that day, but not too tired to send me a beautiful bouquet of red flowers to work. The card said: Today you gave me butterflies....Here's to our future! He is such a romantic! I am pretty sure that he didn't mind that I woke him up that morning.

December 14, 2006

It all began.....

It all began on October 14th, 2006. I am definitely not going into the details here. If you need that kind of info, read a book, or watch a movie. Something with an Adult rating should do it. We weren't really expecting what was about to happen, but we weren't surprised at all either. We are starting this blog because it seems that now we are in the clear to go public with our big news. Most of our family and friends know by now and I guess that those who don't, will now. But just to be clear, it is official, Adam and I are having a baby! I will be blogging to play catch up on some of the happenings of the last 10 weeks. I started an online journal but am keeping that just for me...this blog will be a place for me to share all of the share-ables with family and friends.

My Online Journal - Little bits of detail right from the first Trimester

Nicole's Journal Entries 1/14/2007 9:26:21 AM 14 weeks:: Spirituality... We had another really intense discussion about spirituality again tonight. ssems to be our favourite topic for intense discussion these days...We made some progess though, and at least now we seem to have some vocabulary to discuss spirituality and understand each other, if only a little bit. We both agree that it is something that comes from within and it is unique for every individual. I was overwhelmed with the idea that my baby and me are connected in our souls and that no one else, so matter how badly I wanted them to, would ever be a part of that direct bond. It made me feel kind of sad, in a way. But it actually very magical and I feel lucky to have that knd of bond with another being. Nicole's Journal Entries 1/10/2007 9:44:56 AM 14 weeks:: Crafties..... Good Finally made it back to craft night again. It was good to start 'er up. Heather gave me a bunch of crib bedding. Nicole's Journal Entries 1/6/2007 11:33:33 AM 13 weeks:: Hanging with Lola.... Cheerful I spent the day with Lola today, which was so good. She is getting so close to her due date. We went to continental for coffee. I had a decaf latte and it was sooooo good. Besides a couple of sips of Adam's coffee, that is the first one that I have had in soooo long. We wandered up and down the Drive into all of the shops that have baby stuff. I didn't really need to spend any money but I picked up a sleeper and a little present for a woman that I work with who is almost due. Lola was feeling really sad about Dot, which is understandable. I don't know how I would be making it through this experience without Adam so I can only imagine the anguish that she has been feeling. We headed back to her place for tea. She showed me all of her baby stuff as she did a little organizing in her nursery. She gave us a 'vibrating chair' as someone had given her and extra. It is so great to get hand me down stuff! By the time I headed home Adam was already up. Nicole's Journal Entries 1/2/2007 9:13:25 AM 13 weeks:: Midwife appointment..... Good We met the second mid wife on our 'team' today - her name is Elizabeth. She was really nice. We talked with her about the possibility of having a home birth and she was really supportive. We both got to hear the baby's heartbeat and he/she even did a little kick , which we heard. I am feeling really good about the choice to go with a midwife rather than the Dr. I think the care is much more personalized. I am a little concerned that Adam is not feeling like a very valued part of the process because I feel like we are in this together and I really do value him! Today was alss my first day back to work after a long and glorious ten day break! It was a little painful to be back but I sure loved the time off! Events/Milestones: Heard baby's heartbeat; Nicole's Journal Entries 1/1/2007 9:48:10 AM 13 weeks:: Happy New Year!..... Happy My last day off before heading back to work. Although it was unplanned, I did get 10 days off and that was amazing! I still don't want to go back! We had a nice dinner together (salmon) toasted each other with sparkling apple cider. We toasted the future and changes and our new growing family. It was perfect. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/30/2006 10:58:32 AM 12 weeks::Studio Move...... Teary We spent the evening moving out of my studio space. It was a huge job and it was a really good thing that Adam came with me becasue I never would have gotten it all done otherwise. There was so much heavy stuff to move and throw out. At one point I was just pushing a really heavy bin and I got a sharp pain in my abdomen. That really scared me and stopped trying to push myself at all. And, of course Adam insisted, too. It was a work frenzy and when Mary and Yang showed up with their van to help move stuff, we were getting pretty close to being done. I couldn't believe how much stuff there was - their transport van was just packed to the brim. We unloaded everyting into different rooms in our apartment. So much Stuff!!!! I did a little bit or organizing after, just so I could move around the kitchen the next day. I was so exhausted. Adam was really tired too and he was kind of grumpy with me when I asked him to move one last thing. He snapped at me and I started to cry and cry. I was tired and sad for having given up my space. It marked a huge transition for me to let go of my studio. I know that I will have a studio again some day but this was an obvious sign that my life is changing and will never return to the way it was. Life will always be different from here on in. I feel okay with it though. We talked and cuddled and fell asleep. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/28/2006 11:50:26 AM 12 weeks:: Extend my holiday.... Nauseated I tried to go to work today. I headed downtown and did a couple of returns this morning. I figured I would head down to the Roundhouse afterwards. But while at the mall I was overcome with a feeling of sickness, nausea, lightheadedness. I decided to head back home instead. I think I will end up resting for the rest of the week and write off work compeletely. Yay! Nicole's Journal Entries 12/22/2006 9:21:42 AM 11 weeks:: New Book.... Okay I got an amazing book today called Mother-Daughter Wisdom. Work finished really early today because we alwyas get off a noon on the last day before the Christmas break. I made my way to Chapters and stood in line for ages! The store was so busy! But I finished all of my shopping stuff and now I am all set for a relaxing holiday with a new book to dive into. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/20/2006 9:51:22 AM 11 weeks:: Nate and Semi..... Loved I took the day off today for Nate and Semi's wedding. We were up late last night getting ready and this morning was quite a bit of chaos getting the suit ironed and picking up the flowers etc. I was a little grumpy with Adam because he gave me a hard time about taking a cab, so we ended up walking and I was feeling so sick and nauseous. He just doesn't seem to get it sometimes! All the panic paid off and everything fell into place. The ceremony was simple and pretty in the Sun Yat Sen Garden. They were disorganized as to what was going to happen afterwards and I was getting so frustrated standing in the freezing rain, underdressed. We walked here are there and finally ended up at Tinsletown where I was able to sit down and Adam got me a hot water for tea. Lucy and I sort of took leadrership and suggested lunch. She called over to Wild Rice which was a really nice suggestion and we had a beautiful meal. Once I was warm and got some food into me I felt like a human being again. The day flowed on and we finally made it home for some rest. Feeling the romance and love of the day, we got busy and had a nap which was so nice!!!! I didn't think that I would make it out that evening for the dinner that they had planned at Shabuzan a Korean BBQ place, but after all that rest and love I felt ready to go. It was a cool restaraunt and a really good celebrational time. The food was so abundant even Ben was stuffed to the gills. We came home and bedded down, full and happy. A really good day. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/18/2006 9:12:14 AM 11 weeks:: The Cote Clan..... Cheerful We had a super nice visit last night with Marc and Jen. They are in town for Christmas. We had such fun sharing our news with them, because, of course, they were thrilled for us. They had lots of advice about babies and birth. It was really fun. Those guys are truly all about the Love. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/17/2006 9:04:32 AM 10 weeks:: A Perfect Day.... Loved Adam and I enjoyed our first day together in a long while. He is working all of the time these days. We woke up in a really lovey mood. When we finally got out of bed, we rushed off to have brunch with Lokai, Courtney, Jacob, Sage and Lindsay. It was really nice. I really like Courtney. She is a very sweet girl and really easy to talk to. When we came home the main thing on the agenda was to relax and enjoy. I made veggie chili and got most of the Christmas gifts ready to send. We got out skype phone set up. It is pretty cool. Dad got us a webcam. We called Mom and Dad and ended up talking to them for about an hour - and no long distance charges! It took me a while to bring up the idea of us moving to Medicine Hat. I was so nervous and second guessing myself. Dad was immediately jazzed with the idea. Mom had her reservation but also said that being close to her grandchild would be like a dream come true. Of course there will be some drawbacks, but that is with everything. Over all we are pretty excited about the whole idea. We ended off the day watching Capote which I thought was very good. Overall, it was quite the perfect Sunday. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/16/2006 8:40:48 AM 10 weeks:: Adam Working... Happy I am so glad for another glorious Saturday! It snowed last night and tis morning I woke up to a wintery scene. It seems strange fo Vancouver. I think that this weekend we will end up talking to my mom and dad about the possibility of moving to the Hat for a couple of years. Tomorrow. I imagine that they are going to be pretty thrilled. I still have my reservations about it in a way, but I do think that it is the best possible plan for growth and not only for us personally, but for everyone as a family. For Mom and Dad to have young Grandkids close by will be pretty magical for them. The big struggles are definitely going to be financial but I am sure that we can work that stuff out too. Adam is working a 12 hour shift today at the Washington which kind of sucks. I am planning on doing some baking today and getting lots of my Christmas-y stuff done. I want to send off presents and cook some good food, too. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/15/2006 8:45:26 AM 10 weeks:: A little shopping... Good Got to work late today but it didn't really seem to matter, the boss wasn't there anyways and it was very mellow. I was at te bay and I couldn't resist picking up a couple of baby things that were on sale. Cute sleepers and onsies. I am going to have to start buying other types of clothes soon. Or just wait for some hand-me-downs. I have lots of onsies now, and I am sure that Grandma will be shopping too! Nicole's Journal Entries 12/12/2006 8:22:43 AM 10 weeks:: Heard the Heartbeat...... Happy I went to the Dr's to day . She was really nice, but I think I have still decided that I will be seeing a midwive instead. Anyway, I got to hear the little heartbeat which was very cool. I was sad that Adam couldn't be there. But then I went and told everyone at work our news, because I am in the clear now that the heartbeat has been detected. I went to Heather's tonight and she wants to give me her old stroller, crib and baby monitor. Pretty cool, but I am going to insist that she take at least soem money for that stuff. Events/Milestones: Heard baby's heartbeat; Nicole's Journal Entries 12/10/2006 8:29:39 AM 9 weeks:: Shopping again..... Happy Went shopping again on my own today. Went to Metrotown. My energy was pretty good. got some new bras - much needed and another pair of jeans and another shirt. I even did a little Christmas shopping so I am not all that bad. I came home and did some baking. Adam has been so super supportive of me lately, I love him like crazy!!!! Events/Milestones: First maternity clothes; Nicole's Journal Entries 12/9/2006 10:14:29 AM 9 weeks:: Shopping!..... Cheerful Adam and I went shopping today and I got some maternity clothes. Its is so great casue now my pants are totally tight! I had prett good energy today and when I came home I did a bunch of Christmas baking and house cleaning. Feels like I am getting some of that lost energy back! Events/Milestones: First maternity clothes; Nicole's Journal Entries 12/8/2006 8:37:50 AM 9 weeks::The Davinci Code...... Hormonal I was feeling really moody tonight. Adam is a saint for dealing with me. We went out for dinner at the Salvadorian place, but I didn't like it as much as when I went there with Lola. on the way home we picked up a movie. We were chatting and having a good time. In the course of about an hour I got all grouchy and started giving Adam a hard time about playing video games and not watching the movie with me. I basically had a little spazz for no reason. In the end we watched the show and it was quite good. I just feel bad because Adam is always at the brunt of my nastiness. He is a saint. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/6/2006 8:26:27 AM 9 weeks:: The Barbarian Invasions...... Teary Adam and I spent the evening together tonight. We watched the barbarian invasions. It was a really good movie about life and dying and it made us cry and cry. Afterwards we just cuddled and I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the turns that my life has taken and for being with Adam. I Love him so much and am so lucky to have that kind of love in my life. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/5/2006 8:04:58 AM 9 weeks:: First Midwife Appointment..... Good Had our first midwife appointment tonight, exciting but we are still too early to hear a heartbeat or anything. I guess that will come in another couple weeks. Sooo, yes I am busy trying to hide the extra 3 or 4 pounds that I have gained, (all in my boobs and big buddah belly), from the prying eyes of my co-workers until at least the end of December. It is a little hard because only my 'fat pants' are fitting me and I want to tell people that, no, I am not just hitting the holiday season hard and fast this year, there is actually a reason for it. (even if it is just gas at this point. ok sorry, TMI - Too Much Information) Even what I thought were my 'roomier' sweaters are feeling snug. Guess I am going to have to move into the realm of borrowing Adam's sweaters soon. But all is exciting, I just haven't quite wrapped my head around the fact that there is only one way out of this journey, and that is birth. It's all a little too surreal still.... and a little scary, I might add. The best part is that Adam and feel closer than ever and as long as he is with me, supporting me, listening to me swear and take his name in vain, then hopefully I will manage through the hard parts. Nicole's Journal Entries 12/4/2006 8:55:29 PM 9 weeks:: Monday Monday..... Hormonal Well, I sure felt crappy this morning. I almost didn't think that I was going to make it to work, but I did. And it took a heroic effort. I decided that I needed to tell my boss today. She was really great and congratulated me of course. She said that she wasn't surprised at all - no one really is. So now I can take my sick leave off by the hour, which is great. So If I am having a rough morning, no worries, I can just come in when I feel okay. Tonight we tasted the turtle bars and they were really yummy. It is great to have Adam in a regular schedule and home in the evenings. I like it. Events/Milestones: Waistline growing; Nicole's Journal Entries 12/3/2006 8:50:25 PM 8 weeks:: Super Sunday..... Cheerful I had so much sleep this weekend it felt great! Adam is working today. I walked down to my studio and met up with Mary. This is my last month in my studio space, which is kind of weird, but I feel good about it. I walked up to the Drive and did a little shopping/looking. Got some groceries for baking stuff and got back home by 3. I had pretty good energy. I cleaned the kitchen which hadn't been done in over a month. I baked up some turtle squares while listening to Christmas tunes. It was great. Then settled into some dinner and TV for the evening when Adam got home. It was so good. It was amazing to have that kind of energy. I wish that everyday could be a Sunday! Events/Milestones: Waistline growing; Nicole's Journal Entries 12/2/2006 8:18:24 AM 8 weeks:: Lovely Saturday..... Mellow The day started off right, first of all, when I woke up from a glorious 12 hour sleep. We got ready and headed out to Lokai and Courtney's for brunch. It was a really nice visit. We told them our news. They are planning a move in the summer time also, to Ontario. So we talked about future plans etc. It was really bright and sunny today, we all strolled down the Drive. I picked up some stuff to add to my wreaths that I am making. Later in the afternoon I went to hang out with Lola because Adam was working a late shift. We made Christmas tree ornaments and went out for a yummy dinner at the Salvadorian restaraunt. It was a great visit. My only regrets about moving it the fact that I would be leaving so many great friendships behind. Events/Milestones: Waistline growing; Nicole's Journal Entries 12/1/2006 8:12:19 AM 8 weeks:: The First Day of December..... Cheerful Today has me feeling all nostalgic. There is still a little snow on the ground as we start the descent into darkness, solstice and Christmas. It is payday today, too, so I am happy about that. Hopeflly I will get off early tonight again. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/30/2006 8:53:35 AM 8 weeks:: Home Early.... Good I snuck out of work early today and got a ride home with Sandy, which was so awesome. My Baba called which was so nice to chat with her. I was home by 5 and Adam got home shortly after. We had a good evening together and we watched Rushmore. We had a relaxing and loving night. Yay! Nicole's Journal Entries 11/29/2006 9:32:38 PM 8 weeks:: Presents!!!! Sleepy I had such a rough morning today. I really could've stayed in bed. Good thing I went to work, though, because mom sent me a package filled with goodies. New pj's, bath salts, a cozy little onsie, a book for Adam and lots of baking stuff. It was really nice. The snow started up again today and I go a ride home with Les and left work an hour early, which was really great. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/28/2006 9:37:10 PM 8 weeks:: Nice Treats..... Cheerful Got a sweet Letter from Karen today with cute pictures of Emma Lynne. She has the bluest eyes I have ever seen! Had a great phone call to Melissa today. It had been forever since we talked. I told her the big news and she was really happy for us. We to craft night - Morag brought a really cool preganancy book. I think I want to do a water birth. I have always thought that it looks like a good idea and now I am really thinking so. More exploration needed and questions for the midwife. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/27/2006 9:29:58 PM 8 weeks:: A Snow Day!...... Mellow I took the day off, just like the rest of the city and had me a snow day. I spent most of he day at Heather's. She let me do my laundry (a godsend!) and I laid on her couch and watched the Polar Express with Aiden. A great cozy day. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/26/2006 9:27:08 PM 7 weeks:: Let it snow let it snow...... Sleepy Another snowy day. The Culture Crawl will be a complete bust to day, I am sure. I don't even want to go in to the studio. I don't want to leave home at all. Good thing I don't have to be there until 2pm. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/25/2006 9:00:48 AM 7 weeks:: Let is snow!..... Sleepy It began snowing today and it doesn't seem like it is going to stop. It is actually staying on the ground. The crawl sucks this year and I am not selling anything. At least I got to leave early and tonight I am putting the lights on the Christmas tree. Ben came over and we watched War of the Worlds. I went to bed too late. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/24/2006 8:55:46 AM 7 weeks:: Sick Day...... Sleepy Called in sick today. I have so much to do to get ready for the Culture Crawl this weekend. I have been feeling really rough around the edges and very very tired. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/20/2006 9:23:32 AM 7 weeks:: This was a rough week..... Exhausted I have all the morning sickness symptoms except the throwing up. The worst is the nausea and the fatigue. I am so tired I can barely get out of bed in the morning...... Nicole's Journal Entries 11/17/2006 9:38:54 PM 6 weeks :: Craft Fair..... Exhausted Stayed late at work to set up for the Craft Fair. Adam came to help which was great. I didn't think I was going to make it, but he was great support! I feel bloated and fat already...... Nicole's Journal Entries 11/13/2006 10:07:41 AM 6 weeks:: Lola knows.... Happy Tired Saw Lola today, finally got tell her. She was so excited for me. It is weird because other people get so excited and I feel like I don't even have the energy to be excitied about it too. I am still asking peole to keep things mum, but more and more people are knowing now, makes it feel more real...... Nicole's Journal Entries 11/12/2006 9:26:31 AM 5 weeks:: Back from Ontario...... Sleepy Well, we made it back in one piece. I had such a relaxing 10 days with several naps ina day. I have no idea how I am going to make it though the next two week. The Craft Fair and the Culture Crawl both coming up. I just don't have the energ to even be upright. Good thing I have tomorrow off before I have to get back at it. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/11/2006 9:27:55 AM 5 weeks:: We shared the news with Adam's family..... Okay Everyone seemed pleased. No hugs or handshakes, though. They are such a reserved bunch. Not at all like my Ukrainian crazies! I got to spend more time with Artemis, which was great! She was so hyper from the chocolate icecream she had for dessert. Chris and Tal and I talked alot about families and how they are so weird. It has been a really great visit with them. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/10/2006 12:53:55 PM 5 weeks:: First ultrasound..... Relieved We got a little worried becaus of my really bad cramps for the past couple days so we went to Emergency at the hospital in Kingston. We were spending time there anyways beacuse Lydia was doing her dialysis. We had an ultrasound ans blood tests which revealed that everything is okay and no tubal pregnancy. I guess the cramps are normal if there is no bleeding. Adam told his Dad the big news this evening. He was happy and kept saying,"...oh Adam...." Nicole's Journal Entries 11/8/2006 8:31:24 PM 5 weeks:: Bad Bad Cramps..... Uncomfortable I had such bad cramps last night. They woke me up and made me so sick. We decided today to go to the hospital with Lydia and Dave. We sat in emerg forever but at least I finished Chris and Tal's baby blanket. They told us to come back on Friday for an ultrasound. I am not too worried, but I think Adam is. I just feel so crummy, I don't really care what I am doing. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/5/2006 10:04:25 AM 4 weeks:: Told Lydia and Dave the news... Cheerful Today we arrived in Moscow. Adam wanted to tell them the news as I have done most of the annopuncing lately. We were talking and talking and it took him forever to say anything about it. Of course Lydia and Dave were absolutely thrilled to hear our news. Dave called it the betst news of the year! Lydia thought is was wonderful! hugs and kisses all around. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/4/2006 10:03:22 AM 4 weeks:: We told Mom and Dad.... Cheerful We told mom and dad on skype today, so they could see our reaction and we could see them. They where pretty thrilled and also surprised. They asked lots of questions. It makes it seem alot more real now that my family knows. I guess I am only 5 weeks now. Nicole's Journal Entries 11/3/2006 9:32:42 AM 4 weeks:: We arrived in Ottawa... Excited happy We spilt the beans to Chris and Taly over dinner. They were ecstatic and Taly said she just knew it! I was teary and there were hugs all around. It is really exciting that we will have both have a baby within months of each other. Of course, Taly is due next week but that is still pretty close. They both have lots of good advice for us. Being with them and Artemis makes us really excited about the family life ahead. Nicole's Journal Entries 10/30/2006 9:57:58 AM 4 weeks:: Can't hold it in... Sleepy I told Sandy our news this morning. I felt so crappy when I got to work that I needed to tell her. I am so tired. I am just dragging my butt around. At least we are going away this week, so I will have 10 days off! Whoo-hoo! Sandy knows that mum's the word. She gave me hugs and congratulations to Adam. Nicole's Journal Entries 10/28/2006 9:55:06 AM 3 weeks:: Halloween Party... Cheerful We went to Heather's Halloween party. She was pushing the shooters on me so much. I would just take one and then Adam would drink it. By a few hours into it, her and Morag were saying "You're preganant, your'pregnant!" I kept denying it, but we left early - I was so tired. How long can I go without telling? Nicole's Journal Entries 10/27/2006 9:46:17 AM 3 weeks:: We're Positive ++++ Ecstatic I did a pregnancy test this morning, a few days before my period is actually missed. I just couldn't wait until the weekend because it being Halloween and all, I wanted to know if partying is out of the question. At first the test looked negative so I just lay it down beside the tub and had a soak. A few minutes later, I though I would take another look and lo and behold, it was positive! I couldn't believe it. I laughed and smiled and was filled with disbelief. I got out and knew that I needed to tell Adam. He was sleeping because he had been working all late shifts. He tried to shirk me off when I tried to wake him. I told him to roll over. Open your eyes, look at me. He did. I told him, "Baby, we're pregnant." He looked at me and blinked, "Really?" in disbelief. YUP "Really, really, really?" YUP. We were both so happy and completely blown away! Adam sent me flowers at work today with a note that said:" I got butterflies. I Love you so much. Here's to our future." Nicole's Journal Entries 10/25/2006 10:00:32 AM 3 weeks:: The girls are guessing.... I feel really PMS-y but that's what Heather said she felt like in eary pregnancy. The are teasing me lots, telling me I am already there. Nicole's Journal Entries 10/24/2006 9:48:54 AM 3 weeks :: More PMS?.... Good Boobs hurt, cramps, is my period about to come, or....? Nicole's Journal Entries 10/21/2006 9:47:37 AM 2 weeks :: I've got a feeling..... Hopeful I have a feeling...my boobs feel big, is this PMS or is it the real thing? Nicole's Journal Entries 10/18/2006 9:58:59 AM 2 weeks :: Hmmm, I wonder...... Hopeful I guess after a weekend like that it is possible that I am preggers. Craft night was a buzz tonight of baby guesses. Nicole's Journal Entries 10/15/2006 9:33:40 AM 2 weeks :: Did it happen?... Naughty We were getting busy all weekend....will this be the month?